jughead’s town wide toxic little polycule UPDATED to reflect some current events + the fact that it’s ethel time*
* dead people and people who left town not included except for percival because it’s funny kevin got with him and now he’s trapped in the 50′s having betty as his beard because of him
the thing about riverdale is when they say we have an immortal gay baby with loving bisexual activist parents, two jugheads, a guardian angel who owns a burger joint, a witch coven, necromancy, a bisexual who has ostensibly been denied the gates of heaven for having serial killer genes, a redhead who has fought every war and left heaven to fight more war because he felt guilty for bailing on the supernatural war, a man who takes advice from a talking puppet, another man who stops being mind-controlled because he really likes musicals, and a brunette who tells you to get over yourself because she’s killed far more people than you without affecting her ability to enter heaven, and, above all else, STRONG UNIONS. you sit down. and you clap.